I think optimism or pessimism is often defined by self-esteem and confidence. I think often by the end of adolescence our core sense of self is usually developed and with it our relative sense of self-esteem. However, if you work on issues in your life, and work to develop self-esteem you can sometimes overcome your environment, upbringing, genetics, and natural pessimism and transform yourself into a reflexive, if not necessarily "natural" optimist.

I am bipolar, I write a blog about bipolar parenting. I would not count my childhood as a happy one, and my adolescence could probably be characterized as "angry" or "tumultuous." My first year of college saw a complete breakdown of my ability to function without external stimuli to force my feet on a particular path and I cycled through moods wildly.

For a while I tried medication and it was determined that my form of bipolar disorder is medication resistant. I am very sensitive to drugs in general and could never manage to find the panacea to normality that some manic-depressives discover. I decided to stop the medications and make changes to my life instead, to try to learn to manage my cycles with mindfulness.

After a series of bad interpersonal relationships, I embarked on a self-help kick that started out as an effort to get out of the house more and get more exercise. I joined a martial arts class near my house. I had several crying jags in the middle of class that stymied my instructors, but the instructor in charge always said "let her work it out, she's got something to work out" and I did.

My instructors pointed out how I avoided eye contact; like a typical New Yorker, I walked with my head down and took eye contact like a wild animal, like a form of aggression. I was defensive, overly sensitive, hyperaware of body language, and I looked for the insult in everything. I had friends tell me that I picked up on things other people ignored in order to survive: eye rolls, facial expressions, little things other people glaze over, I stopped to pick apart and analyze, all in an effort to protect myself from harm.

With my instructors I worked on making eye contact--that simple exercise, of being forced to look someone in the eye while speaking made a huge difference in my life. I had no idea I had low self esteem, I was always a very loud and boisterous person. My instructors always picked me to speak to people at demonstrations, because they knew that talking to strangers set me outside of my comfort zone. They used me as the target in demos because they knew having all eyes on me was outside of my comfort zone. They forced me to analyze, acknowledge, and then challenge my comfort zone, every day.

I went from wanting other people to make all my decisions, to setting goals, real, attainable, measurable goals, in two years. I learned how to function in ways I didn't even realize were dysfunctional before. From no longer avoiding take out because I didn't want to have to give an order over the phone, to advocating for myself at work, to speaking up for myself in abusive situations...I had all unknowingly changed my perspective regarding my sense of self, and improved a self-esteem I didn't know was damaged, in the span of two years. I met my husband, have a family, go to school part-time (for free), and work full time. I negotiated with my job for the things I need to be happy and I GOT them. I went from quiet despair over my life and feeling out of control, to feeling empowered, capable, and yes, like maybe the glass is half full if you want to look at it that way.

Optimists can be made at any point in life if a person can identify and overcome the thought patterns that cause negativity. Some people never get there, some people don't want to. For a long time I thought happiness was a weakness but now I know it's absolutely a strength. It took me almost 15 years of work to get to a point in my life where I can say yes, I am an optimist and I think that's still in good time.