« September 2005 | Main | September 2006 »
August 27, 2006
Choosing a good therapist
Naked Medicine: Accessibility, Honesty, Integrity in Healthcare Information
With possibly the most obnoxious advertising sidebar I've ever seen**, nonetheless, Naked Medicine presents good healthcare information for the average consumer. They provide an article on choosing a good therapist, including information on the different counseling options available today, the services they provide, as well as advice on how to find them.
Read an excerpt from the article, including a list of questions to ask when interviewing a new therapist, after the jump.
**UPDATE: I received an email from Dr. Chin regarding the obnoxious sidebar and she's been amazingly receptive to feedback. My complaint was a simple readability issue--the advertising ran into the content, making the content difficult to read. Dr. Chin has made modifications to the design of the advertising boxes and sidebar (which are necessary to support the site), to make the content more readable and recognizable. Thank you, Dr. Chin!
Excerpted from "How To Choose a Good Psychotherapist" by Dr. Deborah Serani
"Questions to Ask:Most therapists will welcome the opportunity to answer any questions that you may have. Here are some of the most important ones to consider:
1. What is your professional training and degree?
2. How much specialized training and experience have you had with what I am seeking help for?
3. What theoretical school of thought do you follow?
4. How long are the sessions?
5. What is the cost of each session?
5. How does insurance work with mental health therapy?
6. What is your policy on cancelled appointments?
7. Have you been in therapy yourself? If so, how long?
8. Is it possible to reach you after hours in the event of an emergency or crisis? If so, how?
9. Do you receive regular supervision on your cases or belong to a peer supervision group?
10. What professional organizations do you belong to?
Good Therapy
Once these bases are all covered, and you settle into treatment, you should slowly begin to feel an expansion within yourself. Your awareness will widen, your feelings may swell, and you may find yourself thinking in new ways about your situations and experiences in life. Therapy may be tough on occasions, but in time, you should start learning techniques to help change, shift or remedy symptoms. That is how the arc of good therapy progresses. Last, but not least, always, ALWAYS, be sure that the professional you choose to work with is a licensed mental health practitioner"
Serani, Deborah (April 2006). How to Choose a Good PsychotherapistRetrieved from http://www.nakedmedicine.com on August 27, 2006.
Posted by lunasmom at 8:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Bipolar disorder and genetics counseling
http://www.fgec.org/resources/bipolar.html
The FGEC is the Foundation for Genetic Education and Counseling. Their web site includes information on genetics counseling and education regarding risk factors for susceptibility to bipolar disorder, including information on passing along this disorder to your offspring. Presented in a relatively neutral way, I think it's an interesting read for anyone concerned about risk factors.
lunasmom
Posted by lunasmom at 7:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Mind tools
I was introduced to this web site during the course of a class I was taking. While it's written in the context of career/professional development, I found that a lot of their tools are very useful and helpful for people like me who are bipolar and struggle with organizational tasks, time management, and goal setting or fulfillment. They have a lot of different eBooks, which I found handy, and there's a workbook they offer as well that has useful, preformatted worksheets for the exercises.
The articles online are free of charge and there's a nominal fee for downloading the PDFs. They also have a sister site at http://www.mindtools.com/smpage.html for stress management.
I don't get any kind of kickback for promoting their materials or anything, I just really found their tools useful and thought "this would be a great tool for parents."
Enjoy!
lunasmom
Posted by lunasmom at 2:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 26, 2006
Comments are working now
For some reason, the authentication function ceased working, which essentially broke the commenting function. The comments are fixed now; they continue to be moderated (you can thank the link spammers).
Posted by lunasmom at 8:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
RSS Feeds! Why am I the last to know?!
Amazing. I just discovered RSS Feeds. I knew about them, but for some reason couldn't comprehend them and figured they were limited to special software or hardware, like PDAs, but I just set up two feeds through Thunderbird, my email client.
I feel like I've been living a sham! I've considered myself a technophile but really, I've been living in the dark ages! Who knew? I love technology.
Subscribe to the Pendulum Parenting RSS Feed at http://www.pendulumparenting.com/index.rdf
Posted by lunasmom at 7:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Bad moods are like airplane turbulence...
unexpected, unpleasant for everyone, sometimes scary, and a force of nature. Like turbulence, all you can do is try to relax and ride it out.
My toddler is having a bad day. His bad day has turned into my bad day. Normally a sweet child with a quick smile and sunny disposition, his doppelganger has spent the day kicking, screaming, whining, crying, and declaring to the world "I GRUMPY" as though anyone within a 6 block radius possibly couldn't tell. As his mood degenerated, so did my own mood degenerate to the extent that there are now two sulking babies declaring to the world "I GRUMPY."
What can you do when competing bad moods erupt in your household? Assessing a few trigger points is a good place to start.
Have you all:
Slept enough?
Eaten enough?
Had enough water?
If the answer is no to any of these questions, then here is your starting point. Set out snacks, water, and let everyone know that there will be a nap and/or early bed time. Schedule naps for a little earlier than normal, same with bed time. Do this for the adults as well as the kids! If your children don't nap, then an early bedtime should help (or see if they are tired enough that today is the exception).
Is anyone:
Getting sick?
Too hot?
Too cold?
Extremes in temperature make everyone cranky, try to do what you can to keep cool in the warm months (or warm in the air conditioning!) even if it means taking a trip to a community pool, more frequent baths, or lots of popsicles (don't forget to brush your teeth!). As for getting sick, no one enjoys it and there's not always a lot you can do. Steam baths, vaporizers, cool mist humidifiers, and saline are always good to have handy. A supply of kleenexes or clean handkerchiefs are a necessity. I keep a stock of different dosages of Motrin or Tylenol for high fevers and aches and pains. I keep Benedryl for allergies and benedryl spray (my newfound love) for insect bites and poison ivy. I also keep a small stash of cold medicine, now, here's the thing about cold medicine. Many cold medicines contain ingredients that can induce manic symptoms in people who are bipolar. I am very sensitive to decongestants like Sudafed, in particular. Be careful to read labels and try to pick decongestants without pseudoephedrine and where possible, go homeopathic (honey-based cough suppressants do work, just not for as long). Cold medicine will relieve your symptoms, but may make you more sick or sick for a longer amount of time. That being the case, I don't like to be doped up or dope up my child round the clock. I do, however, find that if I can't sleep because I feel too sick, then the judicious use of a nighttime cold remedy is okay. I'd rather be well rested, and I'd rather have my child well rested, then sleep deprived and hanging on bymy fingernails the next day. Do not take cold medicine every night though, it really will make you more sick.
Is it raining outside? Are you feeling cooped up? I'm of the opinion that humans are not water soluble; it's okay to play in the rain, rain boots or no. Getting out of the house (where there are witnesses) is a good remedy for cabin fever, and a general case of the blahs. Don't know where to go? Go nowhere, just wander around your neighborhood and stretch your legs, you don't need a destination and you might find your next one!
Sometimes a bad mood just needs a little TLC from loved ones. Extra hugs and kisses and a bit of understanding can go a long way, but for the bad moods that seem to have no cause or cure, the best "remedy" I have found is neutral corners. Bad moods are inevitable; the feelings themselves are normal and natural. An internet mom once wrote on a forum I read "It's okay to be mad, it's not okay to be mean" and that's where I draw the line. If I can't stop yelling at everyone, then it's time for me to take some time out to go to a safe place to work out my bad mood. We have safe zones in our house, places where it's okay to be grumpy and places where you have to be calm and nice. For my son, he can cry and be upset all he likes in his room, but not the living room or kitchen. When lunasdad is having a bad day at work, he goes into the office instead of working from home and taking it out on us. I like to go downstairs to the basement and wash/iron clothes. It's time to decompress, work on something quiet, and generally take the tension level down in the house. I find neutral corners are especially important in escalating situations or in situations where you don't have a lot of support.
Like today. Today has been one long meltdown for him that neither snacks, nor meals, nor milk, nor nap has resolved. It's just looking like it's going to be the kind of day where you're grumpy no matter what. After an hour of my son whining and yelling and demands, and me responding with logic, threats, bribes, and raised voice of my own, I finally picked him up, placed him in his room and told him when he could calm down he could come play in the living room. Until then, he should read quietly in his room or play a game or do a puzzle; I would come back and check on him when he was calm and quiet.
At first, he kicked the walls. He whined. Then he told me he wanted to come out. I suggested he play with a puzzle or Mr. Potato Head. Quiet time is tough for a toddler, especially one who is struggling for control over his environment. He wanted me to do everything for him, including, it seemed, have fun! I refused--the point is not to end up in a situation where he continues to be demanding with me or controlling. It's to allow him some control of his very narrowly defined world without my interference or influence. Learn to play quietly and calmly and you can do that anywhere. If you can't play nice, then you can play in a safe place where you won't get yelled at until you are feeling better.
I think he's beginning to grasp this concept, though to him I am sure it still feels punitive. As he gets older, and as I get better at heading off these kinds of tension filled situations sooner, I think he will come to understand the benefit of having a neutral corner. I know it helps me and it seems to help lunasdad.
Posted by lunasmom at 4:25 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 25, 2006
A good read, for parents of boys
Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys
This book came recommended to me and it's really been a fascinating look into the emotional lives of children, male children in particular. I've found it helpful not only from the perspective of a parent and a mother, but a partner. As I read, I could draw parallels between the book and the men I've known in my life and I think for that alone, it's a great read.
lunasmom
Posted by lunasmom at 11:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Letter to my friend
It has taken me a long time and a lot of conscious effort to get to a point in my life where I generally feel like I have a healthy perspective on life and relationships. It's a struggle for me to work past some of my impulses that have turned into self-destructive communications habits. I come from a long line of bullies and loudmouths, and I have a lot of hurt in my past that prompts me to see injury where none is intended and to expect too much from other people. I can be the worst kind of hypocrite and I'm at a point in my life where I can see all those things about myself, appreciate the good and attempt as best I can to unsnarl the mess of my emotions and make better decisions. My experience, I think, allows me to see other people in a way I never got to see myself and to see where a path leads, especially if I've been down that road before.
With some time and thought and real honesty, I'm starting to make a real push to take care of myself because it's not fair to lunasdad to expect him to take care of me. He'll try, no doubt, but at what expense? Resentment, stress on his end and really, it's not his responsibility. I've been unfair to him sometimes, but I know this and I work on it. My psychologist is helping me a lot right now, not so much because he's a fantastic doctor but because by making those appointments to see him and forcing myself to draw up an agenda and really work on those issues dispassionately (like I would if I were writing a research paper--hypothesis, evidence, conclusion), I really DO end up working out my issues. He's also a child psychologist which I have found is really helpful for validation and for some techniques of coping with a toddler, especially as a bipolar mother.
I've always had someone around to tell me what to do and the times I haven't have been the times I have faltered. I'm just learning at this stage in my life how to think for myself, want things for myself, entertain myself, and be on my own WITHIN the context of an "us." Before I met lunasdad, I was just learning how to be alone, truly alone and on my own. Now I have to learn how to be part of a partnership and still be on my own.
I have a really hard time with that. It's like now that I have lunasdad, some part of me feels taken care of and like it's his job to take care of me and make decisions and do the things that scare me and I realized one day that it's incredibly unhealthy to let him have that role in my life because it means I never challenge myself to do things that make me uncomfortable, like make new friends, like find a church, like volunteer at an activity in which he has no interest.
When I started my martial arts classes, my teachers forced me to do the things that scared me. To look up from the ground when I walked through town, instead of looking at my feet as I walk. To talk to strangers. To not avoid challenges. I've really tried to continue that by committing myself to things that I find scary, like going to my local shelter and saying "I am not here to walk dogs or cuddle cats. Your shelter's a mess, it's a dump, and I want to help you find a way to pay for the improvements you desperately need. Here are some ideas I have. Let me fill out a volunteer application and start making some phone calls in the community." and doing it. Cold calling local merchants and businesses, even though I am terrified of talking to strangers.
Sometimes the very best things for us are the things that we find the most scary, the most difficult, the most challenging. I think it's why so many bipolar people feel like they are not equipped to pick themselves up by their bootstraps, it's so hard to get past the raw emotion, the primal feelings that hold us back from doing the things we should do to get better and feel better. To no longer be scared sometimes you have to do scary things and really, that's terrifying. Sometimes it's paralyzing, and what comes easy for one person is not easy for all and what may be easy today, may be difficult tomorrow. It's a lot like having children.
Anyway. I hope you're feeling better, my friend. It really helped me to talk to you as much as it helped you to listen. Friendship is a two-way street.
lunasmom
Posted by lunasmom at 11:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
It's been nearly a year!
I've been sorely neglecting my blog to focus on other aspects of my life, sometimes parts of my life that maybe needed less energy, not more energy. Experience can be a tough teacher, but often one of the best and I do have to say that I have been figuring things out sooner rather than later at this stage in my life.
I'm going to try to reconnect with my blog here because I feel once again like I have something to say and in a space to share it.
Posted by lunasmom at 11:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack